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March 29th, 2009
11:23 am
It's funny when you really think about, how alone and abandoned you really are.
I have.
Thank You.
Current Music: The Flashbulb - Hello Mr. Tree | Powered by Last.fm
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01:47 am
Ultra was amazing.
Had a sick ass time!
www.facebook.com/album.php
^^^Photos
Videos: ATB
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March 28th, 2009
12:12 am
If it's a question of confession. I don't know how to make coffee, and I don't understand football.
I believe at one point in time I was unfaithful. I am terrible at Parcheesi, and I never use a watch.
And to be more frank, no one thinks of you; much like I do. But it's all the same to you.
If it's a question of confession. I don't sleep later than ten, and I don't shower on Sundays.
And the truth is I cry at least once a month, over everything when it's cold out.
With me nothing is easy. You should know this already. You know me very well; and without you everything is boring.
The sky is tired to see the rain fall. And every day it happens, it looks the same as yesterday.
I can't find anyway to forget you; because to continue to _____ you, is inevitable.
I always knew, that when you start talking about two. You start with yourself.
You already know the situation. Everything here is getting worse, but at least I am still breathing.
You don't have to say anything, you aren't coming back. I know you very well.
I will find what to do with you.
The sky is tired to see the rain fall. And every day it happens, it looks the same as yesterday.
I can't find anyway to forget you; because to continue to _____ you, is inevitable.
I always knew, that when you start talking about two. You start with yourself.
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March 21st, 2009
07:46 pm
I hate this texturing assignment. I really want to drop the towel on this one. But that would mean failing, and having to retake the class (NO!).
I can't stop biting my nails atm, it's seriously a terrible habit when you are bored and stressed.
Finally gave into a Yomogi An-pan. Was feeling spontaneous; after a good 5 minutes that faded to guilt. I'm such a turd.
I forgot how awesome The Flashbulb was.
www.last.fm/music/The+Flashbulb/_/Kirlian+Shores
hmm....
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/sleepy.gif) indifferent
Current Music: The Flashbulb - Passage D | Powered by Last.fm
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March 19th, 2009
01:02 pm
They are just hideous.
Glazed:</div>
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03:15 am
I think I am chocking on my own saliva of uncertainties.
Saliva that I make myself, with my own mouth. With my own glands.
I really need to stop doing that
It's 3:21 in the morning and I have made the ugliest fucking sculpture one could ever produce with two hands. Uglier than my bust, because of the lack of craft. And an even greater lack of giving a damn.
No one likes my bust, she is an ugly cunt.
She's my face, a face only a mother could love.
God, I must be sick.
I should stop listening to Tool, they are a great contribution to my self-loathing
Current Mood: disgusted
Current Music: Tool - Lateralus | Powered by Last.fm
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March 13th, 2009
09:42 pm
( ZOMBEEE )</div>
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01:50 am
lame night.
Was trying to work on corel
and it crashes
fucking productive
good night
Current Music: Sneaker Pimps - Grazes | Powered by Last.fm
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March 12th, 2009
10:49 pm
I want to:
-try and get better. Body, mind, and soul. (god, that statement was fucking lame.)
- stop being a major procrastinator.
- never, ever, ever, ever weight 118 lbs. again, or even 120.
- try and be a more pleasant person, and not let the little shit get to me.
- try and stop being an asshole...Gaah, who am I fooling? If I did other wise, I would just be a fucking fake.
- get over the fact that I will never be physically perfect. I have small tits, a fucking huge nose, love handles that can gross even my mother out, a very unflattering/ unfeminine body, and a shit load of other deformities.
GET THE FUCK OVER IT, STEPHANIE. Once born a fugly shmuck, must deal with being a fugly shmuck. For ever. End of story.
- I want to be able to schedule my shit out. Organize and prioretize.
- Be a good person. ***ehh, really?
- Be a good sister, friend, girlfriend, student. (I fall short on all of these, some how.)
But when one really thinks about it, like really looks deep. We want a lot of things. But do we ever get there? Do we really ever cross everything out on the oh' so long list of wants, because we finally achieved what was most desired? Definitely not.
you suck Stephanie!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/gloomy.gif) gloomy
Current Music: Sneaker Pimps - Walking Zero | Powered by Last.fm
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March 10th, 2009
09:20 am
Current Music: Smoke City - Flying Away | Powered by Last.fm
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March 2nd, 2009
07:43 pm
Art History= BORE.
My life ≠ happiness
my dreams ≠ direction
my wants ≠ within grasp
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February 27th, 2009
02:27 pm
114 baby, and more to go!
NO EATING!
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08:45 am - Isn't it funny how times have changed?
Wouldn't you agree? This is kinda hilarious?
( times..... )
</div></div>
Current Music: Björk - Bachelorette | Powered by Last.fm
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February 24th, 2009
07:55 pm
Those oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies are fucking mocking me. Why the fuck are they there?
Lent starts tomorrow. I see this as a good opportunity to get out of meals, well mostly meals at work.
Oh well...
liquid fast(day three), going well.
I am in a creative mood. Time to draw
 Schiele is a total bad ass btw. <3
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/artistic.gif) artistic
Current Music: Daft Punk - Superheroes / Human After All / Rock'n Roll | Powered by Last.fm
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February 23rd, 2009
10:25 pm - thin much?
I am going through an all out personal battle. Mental. Physical.
Am I damaging myself? I hope so.
Don't want to talk about it.
Drew is going to New Orleans, which will make my already long distance relationship even more of a stretch. I am willing to hold on, is he? Will I be? Great thing about this, is it gives me the opportunity to finally go out there and see new places. And I know he will be happy there. In the city that he loves, with people he enjoys surrounding himself with.
Other then that, midterms were a total bummer. Nothing turned out the way it should have. And ATM, I feel utterly disillusioned with myself.
I am opting to see a psychologist again. Only thing that keeps me from doing so is searching for one that my insurance covers.
what a fucking bother.
Going to sleep early. I am starved.
goodnight!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/angry.gif) annoyed
Current Music: Mandalay - Deep Love (Nitin Sawhney remix) | Powered by Last.fm
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February 21st, 2009
05:00 pm
Today is such a beautiful day. Everything is so pretty, and I am in such a peaceful mood.
Cleaned my room, washed my clothes, was planning on going for a jog on the beach but I had to drive across the city to pick up my sister. None the less, it's such a nice day. Just being in the car with the windows down, playing music, and enjoying the scenery was almost as good.
A definite turn around from yesterday and all last week when I was living off coffee, fear, and hate!
Light an incense, drink some green tea, listen to some good music, and enjoy the rest of today :D
Current Music: Wax Poetic - Angels | Powered by Last.fm
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February 13th, 2009
11:18 pm - my baby
Current Music: Mr. Scruff - Get a Move On | Powered by Last.fm
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February 9th, 2009
06:41 pm
The only need to get dried and painted.
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January 20th, 2009
09:09 pm - ready and refreshed
Started the quarter well, and I guess the new year too.
Three new things have occurred.
-Became a vegetarian. Well a "pesci- vegetarian". I have been red meat free for 2 months now. :D And I don't miss a thing about it. Yes it annoys my mother and a few other people, but fear not. I refuse to become a PETA radical. Will consider not eating fish in a bit, but I find it hard to stop that vice. (it's not really a vice)
-Got my car, MOTHA' FUCKA. My uber sexy Audi A4. All mine, tag and everything, hehehe- and she goes super fast too.
- Dating a very cool cat. Ahh, Drew! (unlike Leah's luck, we aren't "facebook" official)
- Obama is now the fucking pre-si-dent-e of the U.S. of fucking A. The ground hasn't quite "shifted under my feet", after his enauguration, nor did my life change. But let's just have some optimism that hopefully this dude will take care of a few things.
Other then that, school started off well. Thrilled to begin Textuing II and Scuplting II. Although, I do admit I is a tad intimidated by the lot of visual artisits in my room. T.T. Rebecca Gilling looks like a tough ass cookie, but all things considered. I am sure she will be an amazing professor.
I honestly can't think of anything I can inform the few of you who read this, or skim through it. It's all the same to me.
BTW: Visited Beach High today, but just my luck. O'hare wasn't there. Or maybe he was just hiding from my WRATH. Did drop into Kleins room and gave her a big hippie hug. She was kind enough to give me the past years Embryo (free of charge). And was beyond pleased to see my girl Leah and Ryan own that shit! You guys rock!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/happy.gif) chipper
Current Music: Nosowska - Makro (NoBraiN remix) | Powered by Last.fm
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January 9th, 2009
01:37 am
You gain one thing.
But you loose three times the value of something else.
It's all a fucking scale.
Unfair.
Or maybe I am selfish.
Life is a bitch.
|I Conclude|
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/mice/sad.gif) crushed
Current Music: Lovage - Book of the Month | Powered by Last.fm
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luvursheep's journal
